Waiting on my sister and brother-in-law to get here.

Today is my mom's birthday. Call her. 936-1691.

So, apparently I'm a selfish little bitch. (:

I fucking hate my mom.

End of story.

So, basically this blog's about random shit going on in my life right about now. As much as I shove it out, it's late nights like this that it all starts coming back into my mind.

This was my first Christmas without my father. Christmas Eve was a straight year of not speaking to him at all. That entire family always seems to want to make me feel like shit because I don't want to talk to him as well. I constantly have to hear it from my grandmother and my brother about it. About how much he supposedly "did for me". The other night, my brother decided to say "You better hope that nothing happens to dad while you're greasing him out like this. You'll be fucked up for the rest of your life if it does and you'd never be able to forgive yourself for this." I don't understand how my dad can get everyone on his side so easily. He is such a con artist and a liar. How does he get away with lying to everyone and ripping everyone off? They all seem to believe him.

I can't win in anything I do.

Then, there's this Lawrence thing. I can't get over his ass to save my fucking life. Plus, I definitely can't get over someone who calls me practically every other day. I put so much into him. Funny thing is, a lot of times I knew I was going to end up getting hurt by him, but I did things anyway. We all have to get hurt to learn. It's the way life is. You get burned. But I'm just tired of being burned. You'd think I'd learn by the first ten times. Days seem to get longer and longer for me now. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere in my life. I feel stuck in something I can't get out of it. I'm longing to find someone I can click with. Girl or guy; Hell, it doesn't matter to me. I just want someone I feel like I can connect with. Someone who loves me as much as I love them and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep that love. Seems like everyone is finding that love except for me. Maybe it's because I'm stuck on Lawrence. I just don't know anymore. At all.

So, I'm waiting on Brooke to get here.

Bethany's supposed to be coming over to exchange gifts, too.